She weighed a little over 2 pounds and very pink in complexion. I just could not take my eyes off her face. The nurse asked me to hold my little baby girl, and I was so clumsy in my movements that her colleague had to demonstrate it to me as to how I should be holding the baby. And while actually picking up the minor nuances, i was slightly conscious and nervous. After having understood that i would be capable of holding the baby, the nurse felt relieved and gently transferred the baby into my arms. Oh my lord ! what a divine feeling to hold a tiny bundle in my arms !
I did not move a muscle and stood transfixed looking at her all the while and felt that time came to a standstill and nothing else matters. I sat down and kept gazing at her delicate features, and while i was doing so her eyes would half open in askance at her daddy and she would close eyes once again. Her fingers moved and i gently touched her fingers and she would close them into a balled fist and re-open once again. This time i slid my tiny finger into her palm and her fingers closed around my little finger in a gentle hold. Ah ha ! here is a small game going on now!
Oh¦I did want to play further, but by now fifteen minutes had elapsed and the nurse came back for the baby as she had to be placed in an incubator. The entire part of the day, i was left thinking about my little baby girl. She was marvelous and she filled my heart. Every time I passed by a candy store, or a toy store, I was left wondering what could be her favorite color, and what ice-cream flavor would she like and so on. I was already rushing and gushing ahead and had to remind myself every now and then that my girl is still too tiny to make a move yet.
I remember, i would quite often make my way and peep into the ICU where they kept the babies in the incubators. And there she was gently sleeping and from a distance i would snatch a peek or two every now and then. I would speak to her very softly and every time she made a movement it was almost as if she sensed I was talking to her and I would quickly leave her side with a prayer for good sound sleep and may divinity dwell around her. While I made my way out from the ICU and walked down the corridor, i felt so proud and a feeling of well-being engulfed my entire being.
My naturally stern looking face gave way to a smile and i found a certain kind of responsiveness in people I interacted with. I then realized the years of void and emptiness was now fulfilled with hope and optimism within me. I felt i had a purpose and was looking forward to that something which I could not express. The day my daughter was born is truly the most memorable experience for me because that was the day i lived thru numerous layers of development within me. The day was a metamorphosis and a catharsis of many events in my life which culminated into a single piece of joy. I felt wiser than before.